I had a little (maybe big) moment last night. It was one of those moments, that make you want to give up. Make you wish you could disappear and wish you had never existed. And one thought that stuck out to me, that I remember is that I thought “What is the point in continuing the recovery process, if I am going to keep fucking up?”
But this morning, I woke up and I felt better. Not only that, but I took my meds. I did everything I was supposed to today. And I’d be lying if I said I felt amazing. I am still struggling with some personal things, that I cannot fully go into detail on. If my disorder didn’t heavily ‘depend’ on other people, I would.
Tonight, I plan on filling out my diary card and a behavior chain. I plan on journaling my thoughts after last nights shenanigans, so I can see what triggered my little errrr big moment. So just remember that you can always get back on track. Doesn’t matter if you have a little moment or even a big one. If you’re expecting recovery to be a walk in the park, you have another thing coming. You will fuck up. It’s just how you deal with that fuck up that truly matters.
-Lauren
Lauren's Blog 🌈 